Helpful Tips on Building a Relationship with Your New Nanny

Many clients often ask us for advice on how to communicate effectively with their nannies.

In this a November 2006 issue of Crain’s Chicago Business, Nanny Boutique President, Maria Christopoulos Katris, responded on why the lines of communication between parents and nannies can sometimes become strained.
"Because it is such an emotionally charged environment, nannies sometimes have a hard time being upfront with families that they've just started working with. And on the flip side, for parents who have never had nannies before, it's not knowing what to say or how to say it."

The key to a successful and long-lasting relationship with your nanny is being comfortable in a two-way conversation about your children and household. In addition to the Nanny/Family Agreement we highly recommend, we’ve researched more ways to help you maintain a strong relationship with your nanny. Here is a list of quick tips on how to best communicate with your nanny in order to keep everyone happy, healthy, and committed to your family’s best interests:

Giving your nanny feedback!

· Most nannies tend to view all feed back as criticism, so if she acts defensively to your
feedback, go carefully.
· It’s sometimes best not to approach her with a whole list of problems at once.
· Make sure that once you’ve addressed the problem you include some constructive praise
to let her know that she is doing some things right.
· Focus on your nanny’s behavior instead of personality traits.
· Focus on the facts in addressing situational issues, and try to avoid assumptions.
· Keep your feedback action-based and focused on future improvements. Get involved with
the solution so you can share in the action and monitor what happens next.
· After you’ve addressed your issues and expressed your desired for improvements, always
give your nanny a chance to state her case.

Establishing a great relationship with your nanny!

· Try to create a comfortable environment in your home. A full fridge, appropriate laundry
and cleaning materials well labeled, a basic selection of age-appropriate toys and household
instructions will make your nanny comfortable in their new environment.
· Make sure your Contract of Employment is clear on issues like: hours of work,
responsibilities and daily duties, place of work, pay and benefits, sickness and holiday
entitlement, notice periods and disciplinary issues.
· Take the time to give her a good introduction into your home. Discuss house rules, social
activities, any special dietary requirements, the extended family, views on discipline for
your children, weekly routine, use of the telephone, computer, television, etc.
· Try to set up time in the first week to be at home with your nanny and your children so
you can observe each other and develop a consistent routine that you’re both comfortable
with.
· Use a diary and/or scheduling system to record the events of the day and to note special
appointments, social events, meals, medication, nap schedules and daily activities. It
usually works best when both parents and nannies are using the diary to record the day-
to-day activities of the children.
· Ask your nanny what she did during the day with the children. Compliment her when you
know she’s done a good job with them, and if you’re unhappy with something tell her as
soon as possible.
· Introduce an informal monthly review. Make this an open, two-way conversation that
gives you both a chance to give and receive feedback about how things are progressing.
· Don’t be hesitant to ask your nanny’s opinion about childcare. Many nannies have years of
experience and expertise when it comes to development. Asking her opinion about an
issue you are having with your child will strengthen her relationship to you and your
family.
· Do your best to respect your nanny’s working hours. A big complaint from nannies is that
parents regularly come home late in the evenings without warning and without offering
extra money or time off.
· Think about benefits other than pay that you can offer your nanny. Small perks to make
the job as attractive and enjoyable as possible. This only increases feelings on appreciation,
trust and value.

One of the biggest reasons relationships between parents and nannies fail is because the “communication broke down”. We hope these tips help guide you into maintaining a harmonious relationship with your nanny to ensure that your family receives the best possible care.